A REFLECTIVE NOTE ON ‘MINDFUL MEDIATION: THE SHAPELESS ART’

Jean Marie Vianney Sikubwabo, a PhD Student in International Diplomacy states: “According to Erdmann, the actual mediation is shapeless; that is to say, one cannot claim to have an exhaustive list of techniques, constituents, or terms but to contextualize and individualize the mediation approach creatively. In that sense, Erdmann insists that no regional or leading model fits best in conflict resolution. In other words, there is no single solution or formula to conflict resolution; it is a matter of developing step-by-step and routinized processes and concepts leading to effective mediation. Even in the conflict itself, there is no uniformized definition of conflict or conflict resolution mechanisms because it is complex and manifests in various forms. Most often, many constituents of conflict are not easy to identify because the factors considered as conflict differs from individual to individual. However, the best solution is to make the mediation players think creatively about approaches, techniques, and strategies that can effectively apply in their context. It is the essence of mindfulness in mediation. Mindfulness is universal and does not belong to one culture or religion only.

Individualization and contextualization necessitate self-awareness and self-sensitization of the players before they work with other person’s problems, conflicts, or dilemmas. That is to say, that self-healing is needed before healing others. Self-awareness and self-sensitization go with dealing with one’s personality because it dramatically impacts the successful conduct of the mediation. Undoubtedly, there are personal competencies that we were born with; we need to use and grab them. However, people’s personalities can be influenced by circumstances and situations people live in. According to Erdmann, personality is a sum of acquired traits. That is why even twins may have diverse personalities once they have been in different environments, societies, and schools, yet they have the same genes. Erdmann considers these circumstances and situations as silent educators that people should give considerable value. 

Self-awareness can enable one to discover that other individuals have unique personalities; people might have gone through similar but still quite different processes and are adverse and unique. The primary foundation is nature which can be altered by different factors, manifestations, family, school, and environment, to name a few. In other words, everyone can develop her personality from the typical model. Nature is a standard model but can differ from one person to another according to how they develop their personalities. So, people do not differ naturally; only their personalities differ.

Mindful mediation, an effective conflict resolution, requires distancing from the conflict, and conflict mapping entails creating a list of challenging questions that help think creatively, explore the statements and challenge them. In that sense, the mediator should detect benefits for the parties, and hidden power relations, to name a few. A mediator cannot achieve these goals unless s/he is an effective listener, that is, listening with all her senses. Effective listening helps one deal with the root causes of the conflict than the conflict itself. It is an important lesson to learn from the Buddhist tradition. 

Once the mediator assists the conflict partners in understanding the root causes and effects of the conflict, they can change their perception of the conflict and see the positive aspect of it. We often make wrong interpretations and disorient the situation to more conflicts. The positive conflict transformation helps make a conflict an opportunity to learn, build and improve relations, mainly when the parties undertake the mediation process; it signals that they understand their social responsibility. That is why the holistic mediation approach obligates the mediator not to limit her efforts to conflict management only but to offer exchange and understanding in its broader sense. This approach is supported by the three Noble Truths: right understanding, proper thought, and right speech. The main reason is that mediation combines various problem-solving approaches and is interdisciplinary in that it consists of conflict analysis, crisis management, and communication tools. 

The mediator creates room for safe and respectful exchanges between the conflict partner; s/he manages the process and helps them generate options, develop doables, and reach a sustainable solution. Throughout the process, the mediator must promote mutual respect and help the parties keep the momentum. Regarding the solution, Erdmann stresses that the parties’ agreement prevails because they have the sole power to make an agreement that must be legally valid. In addition, they can voluntarily participate as they can freely withdraw from the process.

In all this process, Erdmann warns that one process cannot apply to subsequent conflicts. So, the mediator must remember that the uniqueness of conflict requires the uniqueness of a mediation process. To do it, the mediator must be an open-minded, creative, and effective listener. Effective listening implies reframing, that is, being positive and positively conveying the expressed content. When reframing, one must avoid changing the content of the message but positively approach its content. Above all, Erdman reminds us that mediation is a call, not a profession. At the beginning of the process, parties have extreme and unrealistic assumptions, demands, and extreme positions. The mediator must exclude any possible assumptions and listens to the parties’ statements. So far, s/he must be persuasive enough to motivate the parties to participate in the talks. Throughout the process, the mediator must empathize, value the parties’ emotions, and induce the parties to do the same to each other. 

Once they do that, they avoid comprising, especially when the party accepts a settlement in which she is not convinced. In many instances, a party may accept to lose her position for compromise, which may collapse sooner. On the contrary, they should analyze all components of the conflict, from the central conflict to minor issues. Often, it starts as a cold conflict but becomes hot and escalates as the concerned parties fail to address it at its early stage. The situation worsens when the conflict becomes tense; this is the most difficult and foundational mediation moment. 

As mentioned earlier, mindful mediation seeks to reach a sustainable solution by dealing with the root causes of the conflict, enables equal participation of the parties, meets both parties’ interests, and provides a learning opportunity for other resolutions. In order to happen, it is vital to distinguish between needs, interests (direct versus structural interests), and values. A mindful mediation process implies valuing the other party’s interests though one may disagree.

Without a doubt, effective mediation cannot be possible in an imbalance of power. The balance of power is another main mediation task. It ranges from the power of control, reward, contract, personal bond, and competitive relations. If needs be, the mediator may even empower the party (ies) by providing the negotiation capacity. Once there is a balance of power, parties can positively collaborate instead of competing over their opposing interests and positions. This goal cannot be possible unless the mediator builds rapport; that is, it creates openness and familiarity with the parties because rapport makes the parties freely open up to the mediator and increases trust.

In conclusion, it is vital to understand that conflicts live in us and around us and are part of who we are and that any simple misunderstanding or divergence should not lead to conflicts. Simple misunderstandings become conflicts when people are stuck in the conflicting zone, fail to communicate or try possible options. Inevitably, this hinders social development. People should make all possible efforts to handle even minor issues because handling minor issues can lead to settling the core problem. To happen, the players in the mediation process must strive for self-awareness and personal healing before engaging in societal problems. Furthermore, we must bear in mind that our surrounding environment is our silent educator; life experience, work, societal, and environmental factors play a critical role in someone’s personality change.

The complex nature of a conflict requires that a mindful mediation process contextualizes based on individual, religious, and cultural diversity. The mediator and the conflict partners should strive for de-escalation through collaboration and mutual exchanges. To happen, the mediator must be creative and manage the situation accordingly, promoting the conflict partnership instead of settling conflicts. To do that, the mediator must be an effective listener; that is, paying attention to every speaker, treating them equally, strive for objective questioning because questioning does not help parties engage in the process only, but enable them to explore the issue and its constituents. Finally, Erdmann warns against shaping the mediation because it is limiting it and its nature, minimizing it and limiting its flexibility. All credit to Daniel Erdmann, who produced this instructional and explorative book; it is a valuable guide for those committed to making the mediation process their best conflict resolution option.”