7 thoughts on “Making Sense of Loss”

  1. Dear Dr. Katherine Pavlidis Johnson,

    Thank you.

    Your teachings are in full agreement with the teaching of Prof. Daniel Erdmann on the need for oneself to grow one’s capabilities as a being i.e. one’ ability to observe and communicate and I guess tolerate stressors.

    I also think of how being and knowledge need to go together and how important it is that some processes of society can value the skills gained through the needed training.

    The focus on societal change is crucial so that our values can shift and society as a whole becomes more sustainable.

    I will think more on ‘deconstructing loss’ which for some reason reminds me of EMDR .

    I allow myself to put up a link to a paper of Neimayer which I found after your suggestions.

  2. Thank you for sharing.

    The aim of mediation is to have win-win situation for both conflicting parties. Both parties have to give and take during the mediation process. Mediation process is helping to find out the core value (what is their real need) of the conflicting parties.
    If agreement is reached, there should be no loss from both parties.

    At certain stand, the parties for mediating should not prepare for the loss. The original dispute before mediation may not be the real need for the disputing parties. The answer after mediation, especially from caucus, should be the real need for both parties.

    I agree that there is different point of view and or explanation for the give and take. It could be treated as loss if you could not get what you originally want after the mediation process. So, it is good to prepare for the loss psychologically before beginning mediation and may be easier to accept the consequence and not easy to regret after signing the mediation agreement.

    1. Hi all.
      Thanks for your feedback and thanks Finnur for the paper by Neimeyer. I realised after I met Dr. Diana Sands who worked with Neimeyer that reconstuction was the main work of Mediation. I am currently really pressed for time with my projects and although I would love to spend more discussion time on this hub I will hopefully do so by posting the results of my next project where we are using the content of my books for training mediators in Mongolia. Thanks again for your much-valued feedback.

    1. Thanks, Mercy. I will hopefully be completing another one shortly on the Mongolia Project where we have used the books to promote understanding of the psychology behind dispute resolution in family law.

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