Hot, cold, mix

Tobias Volz posted 3 years ago, 1 Responses
Hot: Recently, I witnessed a heated conflict during a no-table discussion between different LGBTIQ groups and activists of Georgia. During the argument, that escalated quickly after an emotional response, two people started shouting at each other, calling each other names, and lost their temper. As the LGBTIQ community of Georgia is already shattered into different approaches, also personal issues played a crucial role in this example of a hot conflict. The LGBTIQ community in Georgia is small; everyone knows each other, and rumors, misconceptions, and false information of personal or work-related content spread quickly. This situation was most likely only a trigger for hidden feelings, such as the personal hurt. 
Cold: During a recent team meeting, a colleague addressed an issue of the room temperature in the organization’s office space. The person claimed that he gets sick frequently due to cold temperatures and running AC. Another colleague who shares the room reacted and said that she could not work if the room temperature would increase. She tends to sweat and gets problems with her blood pressure. The colleagues discussed in a very rational way shared each other’s viewpoints. In the end, they found a solution; another colleague who can work in a room with a lower temperature switched the office space. Both colleagues now laugh about their arguments and come along very well. I believe the root cause of the conflict was that the colleague who froze in the room never approached the other colleague or brought the topic to the table. She tried to show her discomfort through coughing and wearing extra warm clothes, but never spoke up. Therefore, the reason goes back to the person’s basic needs.
Mix: Recently, I mediated between two work colleagues from the same LGBTIQ organization in Georgia. The colleagues who work together in the same project on the same level of organizational hierarchy started very emotionally and ‘hot,’ accusing each other of having lied during a recent meeting. However, in between, they calmed down to a ‘cold’ and disinterested level, until the topic reached the point of lying again. In the end, parties shook hands and had a fruitful and calm discussion. The main reason for the fight was, however, that one of the colleagues got the offer of a promotion, which lead to jealousy and feeling of being mistreated. Therefore, during a meeting with all colleagues, the head of the organization explained why the specific colleague got a promotion, also mentioning that more people might get a promotion soon aswell.

Dear Tobias,

These tiny insights help us to analyze the conflict a bit further and to create matching strategic responses, like having a break or to actually use the emotional discussion in order to reach a specific goal. Here, we can start playing with the conflict and to truly learn to lead it.

BR, Daniel