Mediation as a core social skill

Devika Sammy posted 1 month ago, 1 Responses
Mindfulness in my opinion is being fully present in a mediation session. Being aware of my emotions and behaviours and how the person in the room affects me. Understanding that my attitudes, values, perceptions and experiences influences my actions and ensuring that I am paying attention to them from moment to moment. In my daily life mindfulness plays a role in my interpersonal and intrapersonal interactions. Understanding how I influence the world allows me to be deliberate in my actions ultimately more effective. 
The silent educator includes biographical data as well as the sum of our life experiences.  Religion and culture may play critical roles as silent educators. Despite my birth-place in a predominantly western culture I am influenced by eastern Hindu philosophy including karma (the sum of my actions), dharma (my duty to fulfil in my lifetime) and my desire to achieve moksha (freedom from the cycle of rebirth). One way to achieve moksha is to serve humanity, and to strive for non-attachment. Applying my belief system to my mediation practice, I aspire to humility, emotional regulation and non-attachment to outcomes. Yet I cannot say that I am uninfluenced by the western culture of individualist thinking because I strongly believe in open, honest and direct communication as being necessary for resolving disputes.
However, my inclination to non-attachment to emotions may allow me to develop the art of looking behind the curtain in my unique way. Non-attachment helps me to keep my bias in check. Yet it is also important to name the issue and to have an attitude of curiosity. For example, in the conflict  involving the naming of the Yugoslav republic of Macedonia, starting from asking what the conflict was about would allow a mediator to put the conflict into perspective for each party and remining detached from initial understanding of the conflict would free the mediator to explore explanations that the mediator may not have considered and thereby increasing possibilities for resolving the 27 years running dispute. 

Dear Devika,

thank you once again – I am truly learning a lot from you.

Mindfulness in Mediation means to me that I bring in nothing but awareness … knowing that I try to maintain my mind empty. Everything that I work with will have to be delivered as a response to my questions.

Isn’t the Silent Education a wonderful concept? The Silent Education is not attached to us but more likely represents the impact of life itself, focussing on our worldview, our life experiences, and on our actions. The Silent Educator may grant peace to a sojourning soul looking for an identity, by simply stating that You are, who you are – namely far more than a passport can express.

Devika, may I invite you to record a 20 min video lecture on your unique way of looking behind the curtain? This would be published in our Round Table Video Hub section. Please get back to me on WhatsApp if this is of interest to you.

Best regards, Daniel